Mediocrity

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averageness, commonness, commonplaceness, normality

Depression

Am I allowed to claim that I am depressed in writing form? ‘Cause I totally am. For more or less three years. I feel like I’ve been floating around the sea and I can’t see the horizon anywhere I look. I don’t know where the fuck I am heading.

While depression might be a good thing (I mean, some of the greatest artists were depressed, right?), I am not that creative. So, I try to do a few activities to get my mind off things:

1. Try to connect with people. However, at 27, I don’t think anybody my age would want to make new friends. You know, real friends. Actual people who will help you when you need them and vice-versa. So, I guess I’m failing miserably and it doesn’t help the depression. I made a few friends, though. I guess, that’s enough and I should quit complaining.

Some folks I met through Tumblr.
With Sam (as Belle) and Helga (as a Sim)

2. Going to shows and parties. I’ve been doing this heavily since before depression (BD) and it sorta reminds me of how lonely I am but at the same time my friends are there. So, yeah, I don’t know how to feel about this.

I’m in this photo with The Strangeness, trust me.

Ciudad.

3. Watch comedy. With the exception of a few dramas (Madmen, Breaking Bad, Boardwalk Empire, and, American Horror Story) I watch sitcoms exclusively.

This was my Halloween costume,

“First of all, we have a team photo”

I shoulda went as Jesse Pinkman, but, I forgot.

I like American Horror Story while I don’t generally like horrors

They keep me entertained. I keep laughing. I keep forgetting how alone and lonely I am. They also remind me about it. I guess, this wasn’t a bright idea too? I like laughing, though. So, I don’t mind.

Patrice Oneal kinda minds, but, really doesn’t

4. Write songs. While I said above that I am not very creative (or good at doing this), I still enjoy it quite a lot. I think this might be the only thing that doesn’t seem like a complete failure for me, but, when Mike Kinsella is your peg, you might really get depressed ’cause he’s really good.

So yeah, I just try to do the things I enjoy and milk the crap out of it. ‘Cause there’s no sense in staying depressed if you’re not good at it.

Photo credits: Mij Bautista, Paul Wenceslao, Shinji Manlangit, and VLC Media Player

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Filed under: about me, american horror story, awkward., breaking bad, ciudad, depression, it's always sunny in philadelphia, mike kinsella, owen, patrice oneal, the strangeness, tumblr

Deepression

I’ve spent the last couple of days feeling really out of it. Think of any word that’s synonymous to sad, that’s me. I feel like somebody close to me died and I’ve been moping around like Charlie Brown. Sometimes I think I AM Charlie Brown. I mean, we already have the same name and we’re bummed out most of the time. The only difference between us is he’s bald and I don’t have a dog.

Why not just keep myself busy? I’ve been watching a bunch of TV programs despite planning not to. Good thing a lot of comedies are coming out this fall: How I Met Your Mother, Weeds, Modern Family etc. These should lighten up my mood while I’m at home until I pass out.
I’ve also finished a bunch of Louis C.K. specials which got me a bit more depressed about where my body is headed. I mean, if I keep eating a bunch of junk, my body will look exactly like his. Seriously. I need to stop. At least for the time being. So far, I’ve denied my body of ice cream, chocolate, and an extra serving of rice. So, the diet has been going well since the week started. I guess that’s something to be happy about. Or not. Maybe food will make me happy. I mean, the diet is one of the two things that changed this week. Maybe I should just stop. I really want that piece of chocolate from the ref.
Anyway, there’s this girl. End of story. That’s all you need to know about that… is that she’s a girl.
Girls confuse me all the time. One minute, they’re all over you. Next thing, they’re ignoring your IMs. Such puzzles, these creatures.
One good thing I got from all this melancholy, is I’ve had name ideas for my solo project thing (and I totally have a private gig on Saturday btw). Here’s three of them:
  • Bummer Man
  • A- (as in, A Negative, the blood type)
  • Mope Head
I need people to suggest me a few more. Something catchy and will make you think of depression the instant you hear it.
And now, it’s raining outside. Perfect.

Filed under: about me, band, depression, emo