Mediocrity

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averageness, commonness, commonplaceness, normality

Can’t Sleep, Fantasizing.

I’ve been trying to blog about my unholy career lately, but nobody cares about call centers and my career in it. Even I don’t care, so who the heck wants to know, right?

The career I want is rockstar musician. I’ve been obsessing about this since I was in high school but my horrible work ethic has been public enemy no. 1 for my aspirations. However, after a weird experience with life (read: quarter-life crisis), I find myself having the needed push to start my own band, write more songs and actually record them for a demo. I might even go as far as begging people to let my band play in their productions or birthday parties.

Anyway, this morning, one of my favorite bands at the moment, Empire! Empire! (I was a Lonely Estate) had been recruiting for a new bass player. Apparently, their drummer, Jon, has been messaging people from their facebook fanpage, looking for a new bass player. I (naturally) replied back saying I’m in the Philippines but would really (I mean, REALLY) love to audition and wished them luck on the search.

I’ve never wished I lived in the states before, but after that, you won’t believe how much this fantasy played in my head. In fact, I’m supposed to be sleeping right now. Instead, I’m blogging and even summed to gusto to actually write something with coherence.

P.S. There’s a girl who’s been meandering my thoughts and I just can’t get off my head right now. She’s cute, funny, extremely smart, writes the most amazing short fictions (now, I don’t really read that much, but I can tell they’re great), and did I mention she’s cute? Too bad she’s in the states right now (well what do you know, my urge to live there just got tripled) and will probably stay there for another year. Just my luck. I can tell I really (I mean, REALLY) like a girl when she somehow influence my music reference. Let’s just say I got introduced to some new music that I liked. Anyway, I hope I don’t blow anything. Act right on things. Ultimately, not piss her off.

Filed under: about me, band, career, empire empire, infatuation, music

Love or Loneliness

A couple of weeks ago, a song from Math and Physics Club’s new record caught my eye. This band called out a lot of my issues with it’s title alone: Love or Loneliness. Made me think up to this day if my romantic decisions were triggered by love or loneliness.

If you know me personally, you’ll observe (if I hadn’t told you yet) that I’m a bit of a loner. I just like doing some things alone. Watch movies and TV shows, go to gigs and shows, I even live by myself (my roommate and I have little in common). I like eating alone and taking a long walk afterwards while sporting my iPod, Karla. Really, everything that a loner’s supposed to do.
But sometimes, one can’t help but yearn for human friction, attention, and affection. So I go out with my friends at least once a week, acquire lunch buddies in the office, or maybe go on a date sometimes. However, I still can’t help but feel really different, so I end up being alone again.
I think I’ve lost my train of thought there. What I’m trying to say is, I looked back on all my failed relationships and think about why I even started them. Was it love or was it loneliness?
Anyway, if I ever happen upon real love. I wish to read this poem (taken from one of the Harold and Kumar movies) to her:
The Square Root of Three
by David Feindberg

I’m sure that I will always be

A lonely number like root three

The three is all that’s good and right,

Why must my three keep out of sight

Beneath the vicious square root sign,

I wish instead I were a nine

For nine could thwart this evil trick,

with just some quick arithmetic

I know I’ll never see the sun, as 1.7321

Such is my reality, a sad irrationality

When hark! What is this I see,

Another square root of a three

As quietly co-waltzing by,

Together now we multiply

To form a number we prefer,

Rejoicing as an integer

We break free from our mortal bonds

With the wave of magic wands

Our square root signs become unglued

Your love for me has been renewed

Filed under: about me, infatuation, music